Winning is good. Winning is fun. Yet we may often find that winning by itself does not bring lasting satisfaction. Why? Why are there so many sore winners?
Before offering an answer to that question, I’d suggest taking a look at Rick Reilly’s recent article on Michael Jordan’s controversial Basketball Hall of Fame acceptance speech.
Without giving too much of the article away, Reilly criticizes Jordan for misusing the occasion to “list all the ways everybody sitting in front of him had pissed him off over the past 30 years.” He calls Jordan “the world’s first sore winner.”
Whatever our opinion of Jordan’s speech, Reilly’s last statement rings hollow. Sore winners are everywhere. But why? Reilly’s own article hints at one of the reasons the phenomenon is so common: our reasons for wanting to win in the first place.
Do we pursue victory because we enjoy striving for excellence? Or do we, instead, seek victory to gain some material benefit? Or perhaps we pursue victory because we enjoy the transient boost to self-esteem, the fleeting sense of personal superiority? Most athletes, most of the time, experience some combination of these and other motivations. The key is the balance we achieve among them.
When we primarily compete to validate our sense of self-worth, to prove those who doubted us wrong, or to punish those who have slighted us, then we are likely to find our victories hollow. When we look in the mirror, we feel only as valuable as our latest victory. When the victories stop, so too do the temporary boosts to our self-esteem.
Why are there so many sore winners? Because for many athletes the joy of victory is quickly overshadowed by the cold, hard reality that they must keep on winning. Losing–and the threat to their self-esteem that it brings–is always just around the corner. If we want to avoid being a sore winner, its far better if we center our motivation on a goal that no one can take away – being our best.